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Sometimes You Gotta Fall Before You Fly
Story published February 5, 2012 · updated September 3, 2012 · completed · 29 pages · 6,686 readers · 66,077 reads
Twelve; How Am I S
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Twelve; How Am I Supposed to be Everything They Expect Me to Be When I Feel So Alone?


My heart was beating faster than it ever had. I held her soft face in my hands, cherishing every moment. 

I pulled slightly, bringing her face closer to mine to deepen the kiss. "Kellin," A breathy moan escape Cassidy's mouth and in that moment, I knew. I knew that she feels the same way about me. She was just as in love with me as I was with her. 

"Kellin," Cassidy whispers as she pulls away, separating our lips for the first time.

I look at her and I couldn't help but smile as I get lost in her big, beautiful green eyes. But I notice a look of forlorn on her face. Even though I was elated about what had just happened, something was wrong. "We, uh, w-we should get back. The buses want to leave and we're holding them up." her voice was barely a whisper.

Cassidy turns and begins to walk. "Cassidy," I call after her. I run to catch up and stand in front of her, my hands on her shoulders. "Cassidy, I-I just admitted that I am head-over-heels in love with you and shared, what I thought to be, the best kiss ever shared between two people with you and all you have to say is, 'we should get back?' "

Her jaw begins to tremble, her eyes fill with tears and her chest heaves up and down with shallow, shaky breaths. "Kellin," her voice is broken with tears.

"You don't..." I sigh in realization. "you don't love me, do you?"

Her cold hand find its way to my cheek and forces me to look into her eyes and I flinch at her touch. "Kellin, I am in love with you," My eyes widen and fill with hope. "but..."

I stop her, "But Alan, right? It's always going to be Alan, isn't it?" She looks at her shoes then back at me. "I get it, Cassidy, I really do." I blink the tears from my eyes with no success. "G'night Cassidy."

I found my way back to the venue without running into Kellin. I find my bus against the darkness of the night and crawl in. I climb into my bunk as quietly as possible and slide the curtain over.

"Cassidy," I hear Phil from outside my curtain. "Are you okay? Where've you been?" Sticking my hand out of the curtain, I grab hold of him and pull him into my bunk. He holds me in his arms, and lets me cry in to his chest for what seemed like forever. I tell him everything and don't hold anything back. 

When my crying dies down, he holds me for a while longer and assures me that everything will work out in the end. "Don't tell Alan about this, if he's going to know, I want to be the one to tell him." I manage to say between sobs. He simply nods in acceptance. "Where is Alan?" I ask curiously. 

"In the lounge with Austin and Tino. They're watching 500 Days of Summer."

" 'Course they are."

With the hopes I'd dream of how I should handle this, I soon fall asleep in Phil's friendly arms. 

I woke up the next morning to an empty bunk and the smell of coffee. I slip my legs over the edge of my bunk and land firmly on my feet. I feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist and pull me into the bunk below mine; Alan's bunk. 

Once in the bunk, I look to my right to see Alan's face. "Hey," he whispers into the hair by my ear. I whisper back, "Hi,"

"Where were you last night?" 

"I was..." I thought for a moment. "...exploring."

"You lied." He says knowingly.

"Yeah," I said not wanting to lie again. 

"Why?" I looked into his familiar eyes, they were filled with confusion and lust. 

"Because I was with Kellin," I admit.

"That usually wouldn't be such a big deal but I'm a little suspicious because you didn't want to tell me." He brushed some hair out of my face. "Why would you think you couldn't tell me? Y'know you can tell me anything right?" I could hear a drop of hurt in his voice. 

"I'm sorry, you're right," I proceeded to tell him everything about last night like I did with Phil only hours earlier. And I began to sob like I did with Phil too. 

Chapter Title:
Song: Miles Away
Artist: Memphis May Fire (Featuring Kellin Quinn)
Album: Challenger

All pictures from Google/ Tumblr
Thanks for reading<3