After Gloria's death Ryan was never the same. He would act as if he was okay but every time I walk by his cell sometime during the night I see him crying in bed. During the day he would walk around the prison like it was just another normal day and he would even hit on some of the girls around our age. I always thought he did that to try and forget, but now it was just getting annoying.
Today I was walking around with Carl and watching the woods. The Governor and his men haven't come back for a while and we were more and more cautious each day. As we walked around I noticed something move in the woods out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see what it was and saw Ryan slip into the dark forest.
I gasped quietly to myself and turned to talk to Carl. "Hey, um, I'm gonna go check something, I'll be right back." I told him. "Do you need any help?" I shook my head and ran to the tower. I grabbed my bag along with my sword and a small gun. Locking the door behind me I climbed down the stairs and out the fence door, into the woods.
"Ryan." I whispered. There was no response so I kept walking. I had my sword out and ready to kill any walker that tried to pull a move on me. Looking behind me time after time I got a little worried that I might not find my way back. To solve my problem I pulled out the colored cloths Carl gave to me for times like this out of my bag and tied one to the nearest tree.
When the cloth was secured tightly I kept moving forward. 20 feet more and I placed another cloth on a tree. I continued this process until I heard a gun shot not to far in front of me. My heart beat faster and I ran towards the sound. "Ryan!" I ran as fast as I could until I came to the small opening I was at a long time ago.
Ryan stood on the small stump, gun pointed at a dead walker lying on the ground. "Ryan?" He turned his gun at me and I gasped. "What do you think your doing?!" I yelled at him. He wiped away some tears that clung to his cheek and lowered his gun. "I'm running away. I'm useless there. Without Gloria I'm not needed anymore."
He jumped off the stump and threw his gun at me. "Do me a favor and just shoot me." I picked up the gun and put it in my bag. "I would never." I walked towards him and he started crying again. I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his thinning waist. "When was the last time you ate?" I asked him.
I wiped away his tears and he shrugged. "Common, I'm taking you home." His hand fell into mine and we walked back to the prison. I followed the cloths and took each one down as I came to the tree. "Why wouldn't you just let me leave?" I heard him ask behind me. "You mean to much to me." I replied.
Next thing I know I was turned around and being forced into a kiss. I was tensed up at first, knowing that this was a bad idea, that I was with Carl. But as he kissed me harder I melted like putty in his hands. Never have I ever been kissed like this. Carl was a great kisser but he never kissed me like this. There was just something Ryan did to make this kiss the most wonderful kiss I've ever had.
My back was now pressed up against a tree and I knew I had to stop, but thing is, I didn't want to. My hands ran through his hair as his rested on my hips. As his hands went lower I pulled away. "I can't." I backed away from Ryan and as I looked up at him he smiled. "You liked it." I shook my head but smiled.
"Yes, I did. But I'm with Carl, I don't want to do that to him." He sighed and leaned against a tree. "You would rather be with that 12 year old than me? That's such a shame." He smiled at me and I tried holding back one. "This," I pointed between the two of us, "never happened." He held up his hands and crossed his heart. "Never."