It’s been two months since I’ve talked to, seen, or heard from Mitchell. It’s also been that long without a nightmare. Talk about him at school has died down too; a lot of people think he’s just not coming back.
Now it’s the end of school on Tuesday. This day was calm, which is nice because I don’t have a headache right now. But I’m still at school waiting for Angelica to get out of her club meeting. She made me come along because she didn’t want to walk halfway home alone. She said it would run for a half hour, and they’re twenty minutes in, so I’m guessing they’ll be done soon.
Standing against the row of lockers, I jump in my spot when I feel a tap on my shoulder. I whirl around and almost knock foreheads with Mitchell. My eyes widen. Mitchell. Blinking and seeing he’s still there makes me jump back more.
He puts his hands up in defense, but I still back up. He follows me with each step, and I contemplate screaming, running, and hitting him, but I bet he would hurt me if I did that.
“I’m not here to hurt you. I want to talk to you.”
“Where were you?” I ask in a whisper yell. “How could you just leave for two months and then come back now and think I want to talk with you? You have issues.”
“Yea, I do, but I had to talk to you. Look, I know I’ve been gone for awhile. I wanted to see you, but I couldn’t. I was really sick and I had to recover before seeing you.”
Before I can say anything else, he lifts up the side of his shirt and I see the once large scar is gone to a smaller scar that’s about an inch. The sight makes me wonder a million things, but I keep my mouth shut and stand my guard of being furious at him.
“I’m glad you’re better, but I still don’t want to talk to you. You really hurt me. Why can’t you understand that?”
He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re so frustrating. Can’t you see I’m trying to apologize? I’m trying to show you that I care.”
“Oh, so you care about me now? It’s a little late for that. Plus I doubt those feelings are real; you don’t have feelings.”
His face turns into one of anger and he backs me up against the locker. I feel the scream building in my throat, but the scream goes away when he traces one finger over my face gently.
A part of my brain wants to dwell in the action, but the logical side of my brain sends anger through me. I try to shove him off, but he stays there.
“Get off; don’t touch me,” I say quietly, almost to myself. Almost like I’m trying to make myself believe he shouldn’t be here and doing this, but there’s some part of my brain that doesn’t want to protest it.
“You want me here as much as I want to be here – don’t lie to yourself.”
“Stop telling me what I want,” I say, my voice rising again.
I’m about to go on, but he presses me further against the lockers and leans his head down. I realize what’s he’s going to do, and I start to try to push him away more, but that small part of my mind makes me stop. That small part of my mind makes me realize I do want this, as crazy and stupid as that sounds.
I don’t stop him as he wraps his arms around my waist. In fact I wrap my arms around his neck. He stares at me while leaning down and pressing his forehead against mine. I look deep into his brown eyes, and then his lips are on mine in a fire. The fire almost burns, but I kiss back.
Mitchell’s kissing me roughly, but over the course of the kiss his lips get softer, almost as if he remembers he can break me. I twist my fingers in his hair and pull as hard as I can, because as much as I may have wanted to in the time I’ve known him, I can’t break him.
After one more peck, he pulls away. “Actually you can break me,” he whispers.
“No, I can’t.”
“You’re emotionally stronger than me. You could break me all over if you wanted.”
“It’s pretty obvious there’s some small, or maybe big, part of me that doesn’t.”
He nods, “I really like that part.”
Before he can lean down and kiss me again, I separate us a little. “So where do we stand?” I ask.
He smiles with his head tilted downwards. When he looks back up I see his eyes are full of green dots. I want to ask him about it, but I wait for him to speak first.
“I think you should go out with me tonight. You need to gain some trust for me, and I want to take you somewhere and answer your questions, ask my own questions, and kiss you more,” he says.
I can’t help but giggle. “That’s a great idea. Besides I’m dying to know what those green dots in your eyes mean.”
He smiles again and before I can blink, his eyes fill and disappear. I smack him on the shoulder and he smiles before leaning down to involve our lips again. My hands are almost around his neck and in his hair when he starts walking away.
“Where are you going?” I call after him.
“I’m going to my house to get ready for our date. You should get home too. I’m going to pick you up around four.”
“Wait, how do you know where I live?”
“I’ve been your nightmare for some time now, and I’ve gotten the chance to check out your house. Sorry that sounds creepy, but I wasn’t trying to be that during the nightmares. Well I was – ah, I’ll explain it more on the date.”
Before I can respond, he’s gone, and I feel a silly grin spreading onto my face. I just had my first kiss.