A couple sits at the edge of a dormant volcano on a white blanket, ready to kiss. Before their lips touch, however, a hand shoots out of the volcano, as if to separate the young lovers. Terrified, the two run off, leaving their sheet behind. A feminine form, stark naked, leaps out and dives upon the blanket like a hawk does to a mouse, wraps it around herself, and darts off.
The quinjet raced through the skies as Iron Man tailed behind.
"Sir, I have detected a life sign from within Mauna Kea which is emitting a strange energy pulse. I would suggest you investigate." Stated J.A.R.V.I.S.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., are you sure you aren't glitching out again?"
"You checked my systems yesterday. I am running at one hundred percent capacity."
"J.A.R.V.I.S., investigate that energy pulse."
"Very well, then. One moment, please."
Tony waited impatiently.
"The energy signature is unknown to my systems."
"A potential threat? Lovely. Just an average day at work." The sarcastic smile never left his face.
He adjusted his boosters.
"J.A.R.V.I.S., get Natasha on the line."
The communicator clicked, and the Black Widow's voice filled his helmet.
"What is it, Tony?"
"Natasha, I'm gonna take a detour."
"You're going to WHAT!?"
"J.A.R.V.I.S., end call."
Iron Man jetted off in the direction of the nearby volcano, quickly spotting a young girl wrapped in white climbing down the mountainside.
"Sir, that woman is the source of the disturbance."
Tony flew down and hovered in front of the girl, who jumped off the mountain the second she saw him. He easily caught her before she struck the ground.
"You don't have to run. I know I'm not that hideous. Dozens of women have told me. And they were under sheets too. Just saying." Tony was met with a punch to the face as a response.
"For a teenager, I wouldn't expect such a mean left hook like that. Are you on steroids or something?"
The girl seemed unfazed, despite the fact that she had obviously broken her hand and that there was a brand-new crack in Tony's mask. He tilted his head to one side and asked, "Jeez, can you feel anything at all?!"
She rolled her eyes and brushed her long, straight, black hair out of her face, exposing her uniquely colored eyes. Was yellow even a possible eye color?
That's when Natasha landed the quinjet and the Avengers poured out of the hatch.
"Stay back. I'd hate to tell Fury that he just lost his best team to a kid."
"STARK?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING!?" Yelled Captain America at the top of his lungs.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, grandpa-" Tony was cut off by Cap attempting to speak with the young girl.
"Are you okay?" He headed towards her, only to be stopped by Iron Man.
"Don't come any closer. She throws a mean left hook." Tony turned his head, displaying the long crack on his faceplate.
With that, Captain America paused and slowly backed away. The girl looked like she wanted to rip apart everyone within a ten-mile radius of her.
"It appears this midguardian should not be underestimated." Thor stated, glancing at the pale figure restrained in Tony's arms.
"We should take her back to SHIELD." Commanded Black Widow.
"What about patrol?" Questioned Hawkeye.
"You really need to sort out your priorities." Mocked Iron Man as he walked towards the quinjet. "And yes, I did just roll my eyes."