AN/ This is my first story. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think...
Worthless, stupid, fat, ugly, weak, freak. Those harsh words on a constant repeat inside her head. Their voices haunting the deepest, darkest corners of her mind as she tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. She reached for her phone which lay on her bedside table and checked the time. Half past three, that was the time. She couldn't lay there any more. Heaving a sigh she pulled herself out of bed.
She pulled on an old grey hoodie over her tank top and slipped on her favourite black converse. She stuffed her iPod into her pocket and put her headphones around her neck. Then she opened her drawer and fumbled inside for a few seconds before her shaking and fragile hands gripped the cold hilt. She pulled it out and stuffed it in her pocket.
Creeping out of the house like a shadow, careful not to wake any one as she closed the front door behind her. She put her headphones on and pressed the play button on her iPod and soon the music filled her ears and she started walking into the cold early morning.
There was not a soul outside, not a car on the road. It was as if she were the only person in the world. Her stomach still throbbed slightly bet she ignored it and kept walking,
Finally she stopped in the middle of a deserted road and sat down crossing her legs. She pulled the pocket knife out of her pocket. Holding it in her hands, she admired the intricate carvings on the hilt, "You should just kill yourself!" , "Go die in a hole or something!" , the voices continued to shout in her head. She pulled up her sleeve to reveal hair line scars which covered every inch of her arm. Some were new, some were old but each told a story. A story of hurt and pain, of words unsaid, tears unseen and screams unheard.
She pressed the knife to her wrist. The silvery blade felt cold against her skin. As the blade penetrated her skin, the opening keys to 'Skyscraper' by Demi Lovato filled her ears. Soon she had three new cuts, "I deserve it", she thought to herself and tears streamed down her sunken cheeks as she watched the sticky, warm, red liquid ooze out of each cut and each cut stung like a thousand lashes.
"Who would care if I was gone?" she asked herself. "who would notice if I just... disappeared?... They are right. I'm worthless, useless and weak." Her vision became blurred by her tears. "I give up, I'm done!" she thought. She was tired of trying and failing, tired of hurting, tired of fighting. She just wanted it all to end. A wave of dizziness washed over her as the blurry headlights of a car came into view. She did not move, she just sat there. "Goodbye" she thought as the car got closer and closer until it hit her and her frail body flew into the air for several meters before dropping back down onto the cold, hard ground with a thud.
She lay there, unmoving. Her clothes began to soak with blood as wounds decorated her pale skin. Waves of immense pain washed over her and she welcomed each one. Blocking out the world around her, she stared up at the starry sky as her body drained of blood. Her heartbeat slowing down with each second that passed.
Her black hair was matted to her forehead with blood. Her skin a ghostly white, patterned with wounds and blood. Her lips curved into a thin smile, she let out a single shaky breath before her beautiful eyes glazed over and her last tear fell from her eyes. Her world became black and she faded into the peaceful darkness. It was over. She was free. Getting hit by that car was a blessing in disguise and there was finally no more pain.