Sign Up   Log In
- 100% +
Never Coming Home
Story published September 6, 2013 · 3 pages · 151 readers · 187 reads
Never Coming Home
17
» Comments17Share

Never Coming Home

It’s been one year since he left. One year he’s been serving our country. One year since I’ve been happy. I fear everyday that they will take away his life, that he won’t come home to me. It wasn’t his decision to go, it was his fathers. I pray every night that he could live to see another day. I used to get small letters from him letting me know that he’s okay and that he misses and loves me, letting me know that he will see me once this is all over. The notes stopped coming a few weeks ago, it was a breaking point for me but I still prayed everyday. I barely get any sleep, I barely leave the house, I barely even move. I’m not complete without him, I’m not alive without him. I still have the pictures of when he was still here, I look at them everyday. He was so happy, his bright white smile, his gorgeous chocolate brown eyes, his long brown curly hair. God, I miss him so much. I turned on the radio and just listened to the music that was playing out of the speakers.

“I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget him
But he could try”

I cry myself to sleep every night. He’s always on my mind, I want him back so everything can go back to normal. So I can go back to normal. His birthday recently passed, it was in February. I went to the beach because I knew how much he loved it there. I had a little picnic set up there, the special kind of champagne he likes, his favorite cake, I had my phone playing his favorite song on repeat, and most importantly I had a framed picture of him sitting next to me. God, I miss him so much.

“At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are never ever...
Ever...”

He didn’t deserve to go. What type of father sends his own son into war like that? He should still be here with me, laughing and smiling , cuddling and kissing, falling asleep in each others arms. He deserves to be here with me. I believe he is strong enough to be able to come home to me and live the rest of his life. I believe that he is okay and he’s coming home soon. I believe that if I believe hard enough it will all be okay. I believe....

“Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

"At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me"

There are some nights where I actually get some sleep, only to be awoken by a nightmare of him dying. I don’t think of anything normal anymore, it’s either all about war or him, sometimes both of them combined. I can’t keep living this way, I need him here with me. Nothing is the same without him. I walk to the bathroom and stare at my reflection in the mirror, It’s not only me that I see. I see a beautiful tan guy standing behind me, strong arms wrapped around my waist, his face hiding in my neck. Those are the things I see everyday. He lives in my memories, sometimes I even see him walking around the house or sitting next to me or even laying down with me in bed.

“If I fall
If I fall (down)
At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...”

I always imagined him busting through the door, running to me and kissing me. I would be so glad that he was home but then I would quickly realize it’s not real. I would say I’m depressed, my only source of happiness has been gone for a year now. I barely eat either. I heard someone knock on the door and got up and answered it. When I opened the door I seen a man in an army suit holding something in his hands. I looked down at it then collapsed to the floor crying. In his hands laid a folded army uniform with Vic’s name tag on it and all the medals he won. This couldn’t be true, I believed that he would come back to me, I believed he was okay. THEY TOLD ME IF I BELIEVED HARD ENOUGH HE WOULD BE OKAY!!!! The man picked me up from the floor and handed me the uniform and went on his way. I lost him...he’s gone. How could I bring myself to live anymore if he’s not with me. I felt my chest getting tighter and It got harder for me to breathe. I collapsed on the floor as everything went black. When I awake I turn around and see him there, walking up to me with a smile on his face. I think it’s all an illusion, my mind playing tricks on me. I was proved wrong when I felt him hug me. The tears continued to fall as I realized the love of my life was standing right in front of me.

“Baby I’m home.” He mumbled into my neck. I felt my shirt get wet as he soaked it with tears. I felt so happy to have him back with me, even though this isn’t the way I wanted it to be. He pulls me in for a long kiss I’ve been waiting over a year for and I couldn’t be any happier. I’m surrounded by nothing but white clouds as I hold my love close to me. This is the start of our new life.

This
Is
The
Start
Of
Our
Forever.
"You are never coming home, never coming home"
 
Loading...