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How to Be in a Creepypasta
Story published 11 months ago · completed · 2 pages · 1,001 readers · 1,064 reads
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        Hello dear reader/listener/whatever 4th diminutional mode you are perceiving this. So you want a little more excitement in your life? You want to know what it's like to feel the rush of danger? You just think it would be totally awesome to see some supernatural shit? Well then look no further! If you simply follow these simple steps you too can be in the midst of your very own creepypasta!

Step 1- Find something that doesn't feel right. Go to a yard sale that has old games with a questionable history. Pick up a laptop without a label from some creepy old guy in the middle of the road. If you're really desperate look up some sort of Pagan ritual. And remember, if you don't know what the ritual is really from, just say it's Pagan. Pagans are cool.

Step 2- Do the exact opposite of what logically makes sense. If there is a sound coming from your basement, go check it out without a flashlight and unarmed. If saying a monster's name 3 times in a mirror makes it haunt you, best to say it 4 times for good measure. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as it makes as little sense as possible.

Step 3- Continue to make the worst possible choices. Have a staring contest with the faceless monster in the woods. Try and find the people who created the disturbing cartoon that makes people die. Again, if you run onto f dumb things to do just turn to Pagan stuff. Those crazy fuckers are bound to have something to piss off whatever is after you.

Step 4- Drag someone else into the nightmare your life has become. It helps if it's someone of the opposite gender that you've been friends with for a long time. If you're a girl, this friend could also be a girl. Also make sure there is a lot of sexual tension. Again, if you're a girl you can use another girl. Under no circumstances should two guys have sexual tension. Monsters are notoriously homophobic. They are also probably Pagan.

Step 5- Find something really disturbing. The more disturbing the better. Something that makes you physically ill. Severed limbs and unrealistic levels of gore is best. If nothing works, just find a video camera that doesn't work and record static for a few minutes then blame it on the monster.

Step 6- Figure out how to stop the entity that is pursuing you. The weakness should be simple, something impossible to mess up. Then, promptly don't do it. Go have a drink, maybe watch every Lord of the Rings movie. That monster isn't going anywhere, and you need to artificially lengthen this horror.

Step 7- Have the friend you dragged along completely deny anything being wrong even though they have been with you for the past 2 steps and should believe what is going on. If they do believe you by some chance, find another person to drag along. If you have to resort to this, try to find a person who boasts about how they don't believe in ghosts or the super natural.

Step 8- Somehow convince the person who doesn't believe you to help you rid yourself of whatever is happening to you. Make sure they do it as begrudgingly as possible and don't enjoy a moment of it. Pick a day that they have a hot date or their father is dying. Make this as inconvenient as possible.

Step 9- Rid yourself of the monster. Simple as that.

Step 10- Don't actually rid yourself of the monster. Spend the rest of your life being tormented. Or die. Either way, this is where your creepypasta ends. Hooking up with the persons you dragged into it is optional.

        Results may vary from person to person. After all, you're messing with technology/supernatural beings/Pagan magic that you could never understand. The part that really matters is to somehow put your story on the internet. 4Chan, Reddit, anything that can get your story out there so everyone can enjoy your misery and not help you at all.

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